omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
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I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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