she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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