is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
