When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
