You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Last time i carry you out of a forest
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize