you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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