Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize