Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
