Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
