Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
