I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you traded sex for a burrito?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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