**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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