cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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