My first STD was from a foam party
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
