I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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