after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize