I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
