You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
