Don't make out with my wife yet
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize