Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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