my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
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