Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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