so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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