I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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