I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
