really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
