You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize