Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
