I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We have started to decorate penises.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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