This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
