is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom