Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
