Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship... http://tfl.nu/725d

Replies (12) Good night (887) Bad night (1461)
Favorite
(320): View more from Minnesota

On imdb the canadians say It's amazing

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(320): On imdb the canadians say It's amazing http://tfl.nu/r6wi

Replies (5) Good night (1004) Bad night (602)
Favorite
(505): View more from New Mexico

He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(505): He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis. http://tfl.nu/qfyr

Replies (37) Good night (4273) Bad night (611)
Favorite
(404): View more from Georgia

Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(404): Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial http://tfl.nu/i0mg

Replies (27) Good night (4707) Bad night (633)
Favorite
(210): View more from Texas

Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(210): Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two. http://tfl.nu/86sn

Replies (21) Good night (4957) Bad night (773)
Favorite
(251): View more from Alabama

He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(251): He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me. http://tfl.nu/9j20

Replies (58) Good night (3949) Bad night (707)
Favorite
(850): View more from Florida

i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(850): i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her! http://tfl.nu/mu36

Replies (12) Good night (499) Bad night (3186)
Favorite
(352): View more from Florida

Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.

(1-352): View more from Florida

What?

(352): View more from Florida

Just dont open the beer drawer.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(352): Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge. (1-352): What? (352): Just dont open the beer drawer. http://tfl.nu/02la

Replies (16) Good night (1655) Bad night (5754)
Favorite
(813): View more from Florida

I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(813): I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me. http://tfl.nu/z6eo

Replies (36) Good night (19839) Bad night (1621)
Favorite
(925): View more from California

I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(925): I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too http://tfl.nu/v7gc

Replies (12) Good night (1616) Bad night (936)
Favorite
(+61): View more from Australia

I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+61): I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden. http://tfl.nu/335z

Replies (2) Good night (1130) Bad night (514)
Favorite
(940): View more from Texas

Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(940): Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago http://tfl.nu/00op

Replies (2) Good night (1060) Bad night (544)
Favorite
(937): View more from Ohio

Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(937): Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work. http://tfl.nu/wxxj

Replies (13) Good night (3029) Bad night (580)
Favorite
(443): View more from Maryland

Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things

(1-443): View more from Maryland

Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(443): Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things (1-443): Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit. http://tfl.nu/9byp

Replies (2) Good night (356) Bad night (757)
Favorite
(678): View more from Georgia

The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(678): The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny http://tfl.nu/ejq7

Replies (5) Good night (325) Bad night (677)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: