Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed

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(561): i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed http://tfl.nu/x39u

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(972): View more from Texas

Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world

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(972): Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world http://tfl.nu/83f8

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later

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(715): We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later http://tfl.nu/4xtv

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(662): View more from Mississippi

The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits

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(662): The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits http://tfl.nu/a8f8

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(862): View more from New Jersey

I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard

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(862): I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard http://tfl.nu/ecro

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(310): View more from California

Obama is so hot when he ends wars.

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(310): Obama is so hot when he ends wars. http://tfl.nu/7ljv

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(530): View more from California

There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.

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(530): There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool. http://tfl.nu/gbzx

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(770): View more from Georgia

He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out

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(770): He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out http://tfl.nu/ozsp

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(514): View more from Quebec

She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.

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(514): She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead. http://tfl.nu/g7qd

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(847): View more from Illinois

Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding

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(847): Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding http://tfl.nu/svxp

Replies (15) Good night (4658) Bad night (824)
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(845): View more from New York

Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.

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(845): Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me. http://tfl.nu/ykh5

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(941): View more from Florida

I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�

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(941): I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us� http://tfl.nu/54ii

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(352): View more from Florida

This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.

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(352): This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza. http://tfl.nu/8owv

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in

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(724): Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in http://tfl.nu/7o0k

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(310): View more from California

When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos

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(310): When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos http://tfl.nu/izqt

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