Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.

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  (607): i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady. http://tfl.nu/6072
  Replies (40) Good night (1707) Bad night (5763)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.

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  (203): i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse. http://tfl.nu/mns9
  Replies (13) Good night (679) Bad night (4342)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Wish you were here....

  (734): View more from Michigan

  And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?

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  (734): Wish you were here.... (734): And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it? http://tfl.nu/j5nc
  Replies (36) Good night (1998) Bad night (6912)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Best. Handjob. Ever.

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm guessing Kelly is over?

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Nope. Home alone.

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  (416): Best. Handjob. Ever. (905): I'm guessing Kelly is over? (416): Nope. Home alone. http://tfl.nu/vpw4
  Replies (20) Good night (5891) Bad night (2916)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.

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  (785): Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know. http://tfl.nu/7et1
  Replies (12) Good night (2408) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.

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  (860): the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real. http://tfl.nu/2bbh
  Replies (5) Good night (4732) Bad night (816)
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  (661): View more from California

  What a dumb baby whore.

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  (661): What a dumb baby whore. http://tfl.nu/17ck
  Replies (4) Good night (1213) Bad night (743)
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  (510): View more from California

  I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay

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  (510): I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay http://tfl.nu/zswj
  Replies (15) Good night (1452) Bad night (725)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you

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  (304): Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you http://tfl.nu/fgii
  Replies (20) Good night (2858) Bad night (942)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.

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  (603): NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING. http://tfl.nu/lnbz
  Replies (7) Good night (1141) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship

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  (717): Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship http://tfl.nu/uea0
  Replies (1) Good night (392) Bad night (1011)
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  (818): View more from California

  I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record

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  (818): I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record http://tfl.nu/mbk0
  Replies (5) Good night (1114) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.

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  (780): I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag. http://tfl.nu/8hrl
  Replies (13) Good night (1136) Bad night (516)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.

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  (515): I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun. http://tfl.nu/37p2
  Replies (9) Good night (1820) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me

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  (614): Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me http://tfl.nu/x6xk
  Replies (5) Good night (973) Bad night (302)

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