worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
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