and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
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Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.