FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
