piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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