you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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