i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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