Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
