But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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