thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
