Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
