I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
