Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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