The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She told me I should be a condom model.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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