Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he was CRYING into my vagina
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
