oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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