Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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