What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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