I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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