I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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