last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
