i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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