The maid of honor just puked.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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