Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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