does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
vagina is talking i cant
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
