why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Randomize
