How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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