ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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