Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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