how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
