remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
