Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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