Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
