I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.