I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity