my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys