i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
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My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
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I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment