I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
